Learning Curve
by Mutant-Enemy-730
Summary: Post- Season 8 AU. Eight Scenes. Eleven People. Faith is brought back to the Scooby Gang to help face a Big Bad, but the more important thing she must deal with is the people who she left behind, and how to communicate with them.
1. Home

Props go to Mutant Enemy, Joss Whedon & co. I make no profit from this ('cept an occasional ego stroke).

Author's Note: I'll probably take a while to update this (kinda standard by me at this point, right?), but it's relatively short, or at least I plan on it being relatively short in comparison to "Vacancy". Still, the summer isn't over yet, and so I have free time. And I have plans for this. Which include outlines and doodles. More of the latter than the former at this point. ;)

Timeline: Post- Season Eight Comics, AU (doesn't follow completely, although I am a huge fan of the comics!)

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**Suggested music:**

"**Landlocked Blues" by Bright Eyes**

"**Swim" by Jack's Mannequin  


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"_And even if you tell me you hate me, I'll still be here the next day, 'cause at least I know you feel something."_

Faith toed the rock on the side of the road, as she walked along, remembering back to when Buffy had whispered that single sentence in her ear, her arms holding the struggling Slayer against her smaller frame, trying to – now that Faith could look back with hindsight – get through to the wild and unbridled slayer that the whole world was not in fact against her.

That even someone she had hurt so much, had manipulated and attacked, had cruelly toyed with and fought to an almost death, could find it in herself to forgive her. To try.

At the time, Faith had scoffed at the smaller woman, voicing her beliefs that Buffy always thought she was better than everyone else, always able to rise above. It was with that drunken, violent comment where Faith realized that – despite everything she had been trying to do in prison – the original Chosen One had a hold over her emotions that no one else ever had. In that moment of comprehension, Faith had finally seen the blonde Slayer for who she was –

_Blinking, Faith swallowed, guilt washing over her at how easily she could revert to the old emotions and hurt feelings from long ago, when both of them had been young and immature. Looking to the older Slayer, intent on apologizing immediately, Faith felt her jaw go slack at how the other woman had suddenly shrunk, sinking into the closest chair, her face turning grey, an unknown sadness and guilt emanating from her._

"_I…I'm not perfect…Faith…Even I fall sometimes…"_

Faith had been dumbstruck. This Slayer, who was a fantastic – if not sometimes annoying – leader, this _woman_, had failed in ways in which Faith could _relate to_? Faith hadn't wanted to think that. The Golden Slayer must always remain so. It was that inability to see Buffy as the fallible, human being that she in fact was which drove her away from Scotland.

For years she had avoided Buffy. The first chance she could get, she grabbed a flight to L.A., intent on finding out from the only other person she could trust just where she could be sent that would do the most damage to the Big Bads. Angel did not fail her.

In fact, he did almost too good of a job in helping her. Faith was sent –repeatedly – on missions where she would be forced to either help save large numbers of other people who would be sure to thank her, thus reinforcing Faith's knowledge that she was needed in this world, or she would be sent on solitary missions where she would be forced to face herself – something perhaps worse than any demon.

It was this repeated psychological and emotional training that Angel had intentionally put her through that forced her to grow up, in more ways than one. Faith had an inkling that Angel did this to her so that one day she'd be able to again work with the team which had welcomed her back when she had first started down the road of redemption. Faith had no doubt that the Scoobies would let her back into the fold – they forgave things like running away – but she was more afraid of being let back into their lives. That was the tricky part. Forgiveness is easy when you yourself are imperfect, and thus compassion and empathy come far more easily. But trust is something completely different.

_Guess I'll just hafta see what happens._ Faith thought, watching a car's headlights coming nearer as the vehicle slowed down.

Ducking down to glance into the window, Faith suppressed a smile at the familiar face.

"Care for a lift?" Ah yes, the ruffled and combed back hair, more grey now that when she last saw him, a dark brown V-neck sweater pulled over a cream t-shirt, brown corduroy pants disappearing into the darkness where his foot held down the brake pedal. The glasses reflected more of the car's internal light than his eyes, perhaps a good thing right now.

"Ya know me, G, always rollin' with the next thing that comes by," Faith shrugged, unslinging her backpack from her shoulder as she pulled open the car door.

Shutting the door and tossing her pack into the backseat, Faith clicked her seat belt into place while Giles began accelerating again down the road.

"No car?" Giles asked, his eyes scanning the side of the road before pulling a smooth U-turn.

"Nah, hitched a ride to the last station, started walking 'round 6 after makin' the call," Faith replied, pulling her boots off and lifting her feet out of the window, glad to finally be off of them.

"You've been walking for almost ten hours?" Giles' surprise was not concealed.

"Really?" Faith's sarcasm seeped through her voice, "Had no idea, G. Figured when I left the message, ya know, people would haul ass. Big A said you guys needed me soon or somethin'," Then, under her breath, "Thought the Big Bad always trumped Scooby issues."

"Faith…" Giles sighed, "Things have changed quite a bit since you left. You might be surprised. I've been driving for almost seven hours as it is, once Buffy called me about the message. Where you placed your call and this current location are both rather remote."

"It took her three fucking hours to tell you to get me? What the fuck?" Faith swiveled slightly, keeping her feet out the window, "Jesus, you'd think she'd…"

"No one was at home, Faith, it isn't her fault. We were at a graduation party, which went a bit longer than expected," Giles explained, his grip on the steering wheel tightening ever so slightly, "You mustn't always be so quick to blame Buffy for everything."

"Save it," Faith snorted, "I wonder, did you ever think to say the same thing to her about me?"

Giles sighed, "I'd rather not count how many times I have, Faith," his voice quiet in the admission.

Faith gave him a sidelong glance before crossing her arms under her chest and staring silently out the window. She did not want to get into this right now. The man had been her only friend for some time after the Sunnydale implosion. They were a team, and even in her frustration at Buffy – who could always so easily get under her skin – Faith didn't want to ruin the relationship she had with Giles. Sighing finally, Faith softened and relaxed, then, as if asking the world out the window and not Giles next to her,

"Who's graduation?"

Giles started for moment, turning his head to look at Faith before looking back at the dark road, "Dawn's."

"Christ, it's been that long?" Faith turned to look over at Giles, who nodded his head, "Fuck. I remember when the runt was still bitchin' about Algebra II."

Giles chuckled, "Well, she never did take to the math and sciences all that much. It appears the monks really did make her out of Buffy."

Faith grinned at that, "What'd she study? Or where even?"

"Cambridge, actually. She got a degree in Theology and Religious Studies," then, almost wistfully, "Seems she has really taken a liking to being on the Watcher's Council."

"You don't say," Faith remarked, her tone conveying her lack of surprise.

"You aren't surprised? I would have figured that out of every woman in the Summers lineage I have known, Dawn would opt to get away from our lifestyle, to lead a far more normal life, since she has the best opportunity to do so," Giles mused.

"Let me tell it to ya straight, G," Faith began, adjusting herself in the small car, pulling her feet back in and placing them on the floor, pressing the button to put the window up, "When I came back to pre-cratered Sunny D, that girl was doing her own translations of Turkish to help her big sis, don't ya remember? She may not have liked bein' the youngest of the Scoobs, but she was always a willing part of the team."

Giles regarded Faith for a moment, a small smile appearing fleetingly across his face before returning his attention to the dark road. The silence which resumed was more comfortable this time, the pair adjusting to being in one another's company once again. Faith stared out the window, trying to catch sight of the stars through the trees, knowing it was a hopeless quest. Lifting her arm to the edge of the window, Faith placed her temple against her closed fist, her eyes falling shut with ease.

Feeling the car come to a stop woke Faith, the lack of motion making her realize her current situation had changed, and the Slayer in her went on alert. Cracking open her eyes, Faith saw the pink hues of dawn in the sky, and heard Giles shut his car door, the car shifting after his weight exited the vehicle. Opening her eyes fully, Faith took in where they were.

The gas station had a few broken down cars parked near a service garage and a old, battered sign reading "Next service station: 50km." Faith turned her head to look at where Giles had gone, and saw the door of the attendant station swing shut, her only clue as to the direction he had gone. Sitting up straighter, Faith cracked her neck, feeling the strain from how she had slept. Glancing at her wristwatch, Faith saw that it was just after six a.m. Only two hours of sleep. _Fanastic_.

Unbuckling her seatbelt, Faith opened her door and got out, stretching her legs. The morning air was chilly, and Faith could see her breath slightly when she exhaled. Shivering, Faith zipped up the lightweight North Face jacket she had on. Shoving her hands into her jeans' pockets, Faith turned when she heard footsteps behind her. Giles smiled gently as he approached the car, holding two cups of some steaming liquid. Placing them on the rooftop, Giles opened the door and moved them inside.

"I just need to fill up and we can head out. If you need the rest room, you can ask the attendant for the key," Giles informed her.

"Pass. Middle-of-nowhere place like this probably has one helluva ugly shit shooter," Faith commented, opening her door and climbing back into the car.

Picking up the cup closest to her, Faith sipped the steaming black liquid. _Ah sludge, nothin' like it._ Replacing the cup in the holder, Faith drummed her fingers on the window edge, impatiently waiting for Giles.

The one thing all her experiences had never really taught her – patience. Faith hated waiting, and only did it when absolutely necessary. Reconnaissance was not her thing years ago, but when there is no one else to do it… Faith had learned to become more flexible with her inborn desires (not waiting being one of them) over the years, and learning first hand a couple of times that waiting could very well save her life.

This was not one of those situations. And so she drummed her fingers, her thigh beginning to bounce in time to their beat.

The sound of Giles closing the tank cover and finishing up at the pump caused Faith to cease her impatient movements. Snapping her seat belt into place, Faith watched Giles climb into the car and shut the door, buckling his belt before placing the key in the ignition. His hands free, Giles grabbed his cup of coffee and lifted it to his mouth, sipping slowly. Grimacing, Giles replaced the cup and shook his head.

"I'll never get used to that revolting drink. I don't know why Americans think it is so wonderful."

"Whoa G-man, don't take your Colonial disgust out on me, I'm just a by-product of a material mishap, not a musket fighter for ol' George Dubs," Faith drawled sarcastically.

Giles glanced at her after starting the car and taking the parking brake off, "Material mishap?"

Faith arched an eyebrow, an amused look on her face, "Condom broke."

A look of sympathy flashed across his face, but Giles remained silent and instead began driving onto the road again. Giles had learned when they first worked together that it was easier to not ask twenty questions, and better to just accept her small revelations of her past whenever she decided to share. Other people had not learned that however, and Faith clenched her jaw, the muscles bulging slightly as she thought back to a less than comfortable...interview, that Andrew had once subjected her to. It was only Kennedy's ability to distract him with cooking duties that had saved her – or him rather – from killing another human.

"I bet the coffee made during Washington's era as General was better than this, even during your battle of independence," Giles remarked, smoothly moving the topic along.

"Am I the rep for the States now? Not my battle," Faith scoffed, then lower, "Not my country."

"What do you mean?" Giles inquired, glancing over at her in mild surprise at her comment.

Faith shrugged, "Haven't been there in years, G. Don't really belong anywhere anymore. Definitely didn't belong where I was born," Faith explained quietly, feeling her walls slipping slightly, knowing it was because Giles had always been able to understand her, just like Angel, "When you spend most of your life moving from place to place, never mind country to country, kinda makes it hard to say you belong somewhere…Other than in battle, I guess."

"And you think that is all you are good for? Fighting?" Off of Faith's shrug, "You don't think that you might belong with certain people instead of a certain place?"

"All I've been great at, and feel best is in battle, G. I may not have a place I call home, but I have a place where I feel I am meant to be," Faith explained, crossing her arms under her chest, "And as for people…" Faith trailed off.

"They were hurt when you left without warning, Faith. They miss you," Faith snorted, and Giles shot a look her way. Rolling her eyes, Faith gestured for Giles to continue, "You worked well within the group dynamic, Faith. You had the experience that Buffy had in years, helping balance the other Slayers so that neither one of you shouldered all of the work as the main Slayer. You worked well with Xander and the Operations, helped Dawn with her focusing and studies. You were integral to the group, even if you didn't think so."

"Save the guilt trip, G," Faith snorted.

"No, dammit, you need to listen!" Giles slapped his palm against the steering wheel. Faith jerked her body, surprised at the outburst. "You have this, this set mentality that the whole world is against you, that we won't ever forgive you, that you are only worth your place in the battle! It is not true, Faith. You must understand this. You stayed with the group when the world was turned against all of us by Twilight. You kept morale up against the onslaught of the government and military forces constantly teaming up against us. You _were a part of something bigger than just the battle_.

"You are not just a tool through which the Council fights evil, Faith. You, like Buffy, have evolved beyond that. You are more than just a Slayer, whose sole mission is to fight the forces of darkness for the men who sit in their stuffy London building, fashionably dressed in tweed, who have never even staked a vampire. By working together, you defied the former code by which a Slayer used to be bound. You are a Slayer, yes, but Faith, if any of the time you spent working with us could tell you anything, _you are also a person_," Giles finished, sighing in frustration. Then, much quieter, "and a friend."

Faith started at that, her already wide eyes widening even more at the admission. This man who had once been a temporary watcher, a mentor, turned enemy, turned informant, turned partner – who she had abandoned in the middle of the night along with the rest of the Scooby Gang – this man considered her a friend. It was something she had never really been used to, or known for that matter. Then again, Faith mused, Giles always could relate to her on a level which Buffy and the other Scoobies could not. _Murder does that to you_.

"I'm sorry Giles," Faith murmured softly, her eyes downcast. Then, her voice quivering, belying her joking tone, "I guess the shit I've been learnin' all these years isn't really stickin', is it?"

Giles glanced at her, then, his tone conveying a personal knowledge of the statement, "Those who knew us before we've changed have a more intimate understanding of us, Faith. It is not easy to be who we try to be when faced with people who have trouble seeing past who we once were. What you must remember however, is that we are all human. We are not perfect, and each and every one of us knows that. You must equally trust in us to forgive you and accept the new person you are as much as we must trust you to see us for who we now are."

Faith nodded at his statement, feeling a calm come over them in the car. Looking out the window again, Faith laid her head back against the seat and watched the scenery go by.

It was the sound of a horn honking that jolted Faith awake, instantly bolting upright, her eyes looking around for any sign of attack. The landscape had changed drastically now, and Faith could see they were in suburbs of some kind, the morning now fully lighting the sky, and people out and about. Glancing at her watch, Faith raised her brows at seeing the digital blink of 10:35. Dropping her arm into her lap, Faith looked at her coffee, a look of disgust crossing her face at the solidifying liquid.

"Tell me you didn't pay much for that shit," Faith commented, gesturing to the cup.

"I may have haggled," Giles smirked slightly, eying Faith.

"Where are we?" Faith asked after grinning at Giles' answer, looking around at the expansive lawns and well-manicured foliage that pleasantly accented each of the large mansions on the street, "'Cause this definitely doesn't look like Hogwarts to me."

"We don't have a castle anymore Faith. We now are attempting to blend in with the rest of society as much as possible," Giles replied.

"High profile didn't work, so you're tryin' low profile again?" Faith commented, her tone sarcastic.

A tight smile appeared on his face as he took a turn near the end of the road, "It worked in Sunnydale…"

"Why not here?" Faith finished, smiling as she thought back to a certain yellow house.

"Exactly," Giles finished.

Coming to the end of the road, Faith's eyed widened in surprise at the large house – no make that mansion – which Giles was turning the car towards. The mansion hid behind tasteful iron gates, which preceded the long lawn that was beautifully peppered with various trees and gardens. The landscaping was something that only…

"Andrew design this place?" Faith asked, her tone sarcastic.

"How did you guess?" Giles replied, his tone equally sarcastic. Off of her look, "We needed to blend in with the rest of the street, and he was the only one to take a real interest."

"What a surprise," Faith remarked, unbuckling her belt when Giles shut the car off after wheeling around the circular drive in front of the main entrance, "This place is huge, G."

"We needed large accommodations, considering the size of the entire operation we're running," Giles explained as they got out of the car and began walking towards the door.

"Operation?" Faith asked, turning to look at Giles, only to turn back to the front door when she heard it open.

A familiar face with a large, genuinely happy smile stretching the width of it met Faith. He was more built than she remembered, his black hair cropped close to his head. The black uniform Faith had last seen him in was gone, replaced by black slacks and a dark grey sweater over a white shirt.

"Welcome back, Faith," Xander greeted her, pulling her in for a hug, "We missed you."


	2. Friends

A/N: Hopefully any readers of Season Eight have read #28 by now, because there are some spoilers for it in here!!!

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Suggested music:**

"**We Used to be Friends" by The Dandy Warhols**

"**Mistakes We Knew We Were Making" by Straylight Run  


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It had been a couple of hours since Xander had shown her around the relatively empty mansion before showing her where she'd be staying and leaving her to herself. Faith didn't know whether to be nervous about being back and stuck in her own room, or worried that no one was here to see her return.

It hadn't taken her long to unpack her backpack. A few articles of clothing and some toiletries and she was good. That's what living on the move did for you. Faith opened her door and stuck her head out. Hearing no sounds nearby, Faith slipped out and down the hall into the bathroom.

"Sweet," Faith whistled, her eyes checking out the ultra modern and posh accommodations.

The tub was huge, and Faith couldn't help grinning as she turned on the tap, sitting on the edge of the tub, running her hand under the warm water. She had every intention of enjoying a good, long, hot bath. It was one thing she did miss. A soft knock at the door, and Faith cursed under her breath, shutting off the water. Pulling the door open quickly, Faith's frustration dissipated at the sight a clearly startled Xander before her, hands deep in his pockets, an old sign of nervousness.

Her face softening at her old friend, Faith leaned on the door, her arm holding it to her as she asked, "What's up Xand?"

"I was wondering if we could talk, actually," Xander began, shifting nervously, "There's some things I'd like to discuss before anyone else shows up."

Sighing, Faith released the door and gestured for him to move to let her out of the bathroom. Watching his taller frame shift jerkily shattered any idea that this was going to be a smooth conversation. Following him down the hall to his room, Faith moved past Xander when he moved inside and stopped. Xander gestured for her to take a seat on a chair opposite the large bed, before pacing in front of her. Finally, he suddenly sat with an air of uncertain swiftness. As if he didn't know what he wanted to do, but felt that sitting was the best option.

"So what's the deal, am I in for a roasting later or somethin'?" Faith asked, her tone conveying her belief that she was getting straight to the point.

Xander shook his head, remaining silent. Locking his gaze towards the window, Faith studied the heart of the Scoobies. He looked to be attempting to think of something to say, or rather, how to say something in particular, and Faith decided to remain quiet instead of trying to break the awkward silence.

"Things are very different from when you last saw us, Faith. When you left…it changed us," Xander began, and Faith couldn't help but be a bit dumbstruck, never thinking she could have such a strong influence on the Scooby Gang.

"Xander, I'm just the rough and tumble Slayer who will always be compared to Blondie, and will always fall short. I just tried to fit in," Faith commented, trying to make her feelings seem less affected by his statement.

Xander turned to look at her, his eye hardening, "You know that isn't true, Faith. You were in the thick of it, part of the family, and you knew it. Did it scare you that much that you had to leave?"

The tone in which Xander spoke surprised Faith, it sounded so wounded, like a little child who's best friend broke his toy.

"I could never get as close to the original gang," Faith remarked.

"Bullshit," Xander scoffed, "That's not the reason you left and we both know it."

Faith quirked an eyebrow at Xander, "I'm not sure I know what you mean to be gettin' at Xand."

"Faith," Xander sighed, "We used to race each other to the mailbox to get the mail on the day that our comics would be delivered. I've spotted you God only knows how many times for a beer run. We have unfinished games in the Xbox 360 and PS3 that we swore we'd only ever do together. You were gonna team up with me to get Buffy to properly learn how to drive. Who – by the way – would like me to inform you that you have an unfinished pool tourney to get to when she gets back later. Dawn wants to finish an air hockey tourney as well. Ken claims you owe her two bottles of JD and a paintball game. Willow misses how much you two used to cook massive Italian dinners together. Andrew even misses the mocking. He won't say it, but we know it's true."

Xander came to a stop, seeing the saddening expression on Faith's face dissipate slightly at the joke.

"The truth is, Faith. You became a part of the family. Only without the mafia tie-ins." Xander paused for a moment, letting all of this information sink in, "Which brings me to the question of why would you choose to leave it?"

Faith shrugged at this, feeling just how pitiful of a response it was even as she did it, and when Xander cocked his head to one side and arched an eyebrow, she sighed and rolled her eyes before cracking her knuckles.

"It's not a simple answer," Faith began, shooting a sharp looking at her old friend when he opened his mouth, silencing him for the moment, "If we were close now like we were when I left, I figure, I'd tell ya why."

Xander nodded, "But you don't think you can now."

Faith snorted, her expression in agreement, "Well, X-man, I left you and the Scoobs high and dry. I feel that revokes my buddy-buddy privileges."

Xander stood suddenly and moved smoothly to the window. Clasping his hands behind his back, Xander spoke without looking at Faith, "Friends are friends, Faith. Time doesn't revoke the loyalties you created." Turning to glance over his shoulder at her, "You can still confide in me."

"I hurt you when I left," Faith began slowly, as if trying to make the point clear, _I can't just waltz back into your life and act like nothing has changed_.

Xander nodded mutely, and then added simply, "I forgave you."

"I didn't ask for your forgiveness." Faith shot back curtly.

"You don't have to ask for it in order for me to give it," Xander replied quietly, as if this point was something she should understand about friendship. "We were friends once, Faith. Your leaving doesn't erase that."

"Nah," Faith scoffed, "It just gets added to the 'things Faith has fucked up in the Scoobies' lives' list."

"You were a different person then, Faith. We all were," Xander remarked, "You shouldn't wear the past as a burden of shame. We're not gonna constantly berate you and open up old wounds whenever there's a disagreement. You aren't the same person you were when we first knew you."

"I may not be Xand, but you did know me," Faith commented softly, her eyes downcast.

"Yeah, but Faith, I knew you then and I know you now. Two very different people. I'll stand by you on the battlefield and at the dinner table any night, not because of who you were when we first met, but because of who you've become."

Faith was silent on this comment for a moment, pondering it, weighing the possibility of Xander being honest or not. Past experiences proved that he was probably – aside from Dawn that is – the most frank and open to her about anything out of the entire group. He wasn't the first to pounce on her about how much of an ass she was being, he left that to Kennedy and Dawn; but he was the first to hang out with her and talk to her about anything, which was the easiest way to get her to open up – only she'd never tell him that.

Faith's eyes were fused to the carpeting, noticing a piece of thread obnoxiously curled up into a ball and ruining the cleanliness of the floor. She heard Xander shift his weight, could feel him moving towards her, and yet, she didn't react until his feet stepped onto the thread, his knees cracking slightly as he crouched down into her line of sight, his eye looking up into her own with concern.

"Hey," He started softly, "You're still my friend."

Friend. It was a word which had been cropping up recently in conversations with people she had long severed ties with. Its use in that context evoked a tremor of hope within Faith, that maybe – just maybe – forgiveness was within her reach. Not from the others.

From herself.

Lifting her eyes up to meet Xander's gaze, Faith allowed a soft smile to grace her toughened features.

"Thanks, Xander," Faith replied, her voice tinged with a warmth she had been devoid of for quite some time.

Xander smiled in return and placed a hand on Faith's knee, squeezing it gently before standing and going back to sit on the edge of the bed – this time more comfortably.

"Now, some people here might take your return with a certain coolness…" Xander began, only to have Faith cut in.

"Nothin' I ain't used to, Xand."

"Still, this is different, and you know it. Anyway, aside from that, most things are relatively of the norm. I think we'll be having a full briefing of what the Big Bad is this weekend, as that's when the rest of the group will get back," Xander went on.

"Rest?" Faith asked, giving him a quizzical look.

"Uhh, Slayers and magick users outside of this house," Xander explained briefly.

"Oh," Faith fell silent, and the conversation died for a few moments before she asked, "Is there anything else I need to know? Anyone to avoid?"

Xander chuckled at her question, "No, nothing like that. Although I'll bet you'll have some things to answer for when the Summers girls get in."

Faith rolled her eyes, "Yeah, like I wouldn't expect that to happen. Where is everyone anyway?"

"Shopping. Graduation present from the Buffster herself," Xander answered.

"Clothes?"

"No, surprisingly," Xander smirked, "Actually, Dawn asked for a piano."

"Wow. Really? Not shoes?" Faith persisted, somewhat surprised at the answer.

Xander laughed more fully this time before shaking his head and responding, "Nope. Dawn buys her own. It's a rule."

"And why would she listen to any rule Buffy gave her?" Faith replied dryly.

Xander's face became slightly more serious, "Because it wasn't Buffy who told her that. I did."

Faith felt her mouth drop open slightly as the neurons fired and the connections attempted to fuse in her brain, "Are you two… involved?"

"I would've thought Buffy, Giles, or Andrew would have told you," Xander remarked, "We're engaged."

Faith's eyebrows rose, "When did lil' sis grow up?"

Xander smirked, "Right around Tibet."

"Oh." _Oh._ "I remember some friction between you an B then, but… I'd never have thought of _that_ as the cause."

"Yeah. That conversation was not so fun. Anyway, we decided to keep it low-profile, knowing the Scoobies' penchant for doomed relationships. That's why you never knew then. When we finally went public, well, you'd peaced a few months earlier."

Faith looked down at the floor, feeling slightly guilty.

"But hey, if you don't mind sticking around this time," Xander paused to make sure Faith caught the joking tone, "I'd love to have you as my best man."

"For real? I woulda thought you'd grab Red for that one," Faith remarked, smiling.

"Dawn nabbed her as Maid of Honor, and then Buffy for a bridesmaid. I would've always wanted you in the party though, so don't think I'm just asking because the other two got taken first."

"Nah, I believe ya," Faith grinned, standing up to shake Xander's hand.

Xander glanced at it before standing and shaking it warmly, "Thanks, Faith. It means a lot to me."

"Does to me too," Faith replied, then, "Now, any other surprises I should know about before walking blindly into them?"

"Well," Xander began, and Faith cocked her ears, hearing steps ascending the stairs around the corner, "There's something you might wanna know about Buffy."

"What about her?" Faith's question was emphasized by the woman-in-question asking the same thing in unison, her small frame leaning on the door jam, her arms folded under her chest, a stern expression on her face. _Well shit._


	3. Risk

A/N: Big apology for the delay in updating! I assure you; this story has not been forgotten! Writer's block, plus grad school and a very busy life- and it won't get any calmer anytime soon- equal the delay; so I must say, I will try to update a bit more frequently, but apologize many times in advance about the delays to come. Besides, that, I hope you enjoy, and the next chapter will be in the works, and hopefully up before the end of July.  
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**Suggested music:**

"**What I Wouldn't Do" by A Fine Frenzy**

"**I Will" by The Beatles**

The ball dropped to the blacktop, hitting with enough force to cause it to bounce back up, the rubbery sound of contact reiterating that this was, in fact, an _active_ basketball game. Faith bounced the ball down again, holding her left hand out slightly, shielding the ball from Kennedy, who was leaning into her taller frame, attempting to get Faith to screw up. Feigning left, Faith felt Kennedy shift her weight with the fake, and quickly pivoted around to her right, opening up enough room to allow for her to lift the ball to both hands and let it fly.

The sound of the ball hitting the metal rim and falling down through the hoop was quickly followed by the _thwack_ of the ball hitting the paved driveway. Kennedy swore as she exhaled a loud breath, her hands on her knees as she bent at the waist to catch her breath slightly.

"So is this how you wanna deal with your obvious gay-crushin' tendencies towards Miss Formerly Known as a Two Night Lesbian Stand? 'Cause, really? Not so fair when you kick my ass for something I didn't do," Kennedy remarked before standing up straight as Faith pegged the basketball towards her.

"Shut up and check the damn ball Ken," Faith growled, glaring at Kennedy.

Kennedy shook her head and checked the ball to Faith, who returned it quickly. Bouncing the ball by her side, but not yet moving, Kennedy glanced at Faith, who had bent slightly, on the defensive. She wasn't intentionally taking out her mixed signal frustrations on the 2.0 version of herself within the Slayer gang. Kind of a habit actually; she had used Kennedy quite often as a sounding board for her frustrations in the past. Kennedy took it so well, considering her own temper could – on occasion – match her own.

"I know this isn't about me," Kennedy began, strafing left quickly, leading Faith on just enough to pivot around towards the right, "But then again…" Kennedy held her arm out, holding Faith off as she attempted to get some room to get a shot off, "It never is."

Faith stopped shadowing Kennedy, struck at the straightforwardness of the comment, and watched as Kennedy quickly shifted and lifted the ball, releasing it in a sharp arc where it bumped around the rim and fell in and through the net, landing and bouncing away from the ground in its inevitable rhythm.

Kennedy turned to look at Faith, "So when are you planning on actually talking to me, instead of using me for a punching bag while you internalize everything until you explode?"

Faith blinked and remained silent. She had a faint feeling of her jaw slackening. It may have even dropped open a fraction of an inch.

And then she was back. Moving suddenly, Faith went and retrieved the ball, where it had bounced off towards the grass.

"Not sure what ya mean," Faith replied.

"Oh cut the bullshit, Faith. It doesn't take much to know that you've got a hankering for the gay sex," Kennedy snorted, rolling her eyes as she spoke.

Faith smirked then, bouncing the ball, listening to the sound it made as it hit the pavement, "Ya got that right Ken."

Kennedy snorted, "'Course I do. 'Cuz I always had you figured. And also 'cuz you're being painfully obvious."

"Serious?" Faith asked, sounding slightly concerned as she cocked her head slightly before bouncing the ball towards Kennedy and moving past her.

"Oh yeah," Kennedy chuckled, checking the ball quickly to Faith as she turned around.

Faith checked the ball back and crouched over, on the defensive, "Well, what do you suggest I do about all this emotional shit?"

"Whoa, you feeling emotions too? Not just craving some good sex?" Kennedy stopped for a second, then grinned when Faith angrily swiped at her, stealing the ball.

"Fuck you, Ken. You know what I mean." Faith shot back, trying to find an opening as Kennedy fell on the defensive.

"Yeah, but Faith, c'mon, you don't exactly have a long track record with relationships…or any track record for that matter. I mean, you do have the record for number of sexual partners, but that so isn't the same thing. Especially in relation to the reigning Summers woman."

"Yeah, like I don't know that one. I mean, aside from Satsu, that girl is all about relationships. An I know I don't have that kind of experience, but, shit. I've felt somethin' for her for…" Faith trailed off.

"Forever?" Kennedy supplied.

"Doesn't even begin to cover it." Faith sighed, her eyes dropping to the ground, the ball now held between her hands.

Kennedy's eyebrows rose at that. Sensing Willow nearby, Kennedy glanced over her shoulder, and smiled gently at the redhead currently watching them from the door, just out of hearing range.

"Faith," Kennedy turned to look back at the brunette, "Emotions are tricky, love is even trickier. If there's one thing I can tell you, it's to risk it all."

"What do you mean?"

"Dude, do you love the girl?" Kennedy asked bluntly.

Faith glanced around sheepishly, "Yeah."

"Then risk is all part of it. You run the risk of her not reciprocating, of her not wanting something as serious as you might come to want. Love is a fucked-up thing, but can be totally worth it."

Faith gave Kennedy a long looked, taking in what she said. "Seriously? That's your advice?"

"Well, I risked everything for my girl. And she risks a helluva lot mixing and matching the witchfu with the lesbo street cred. Which makes her the perfect person for you to talk to about all of this. Way better than me." As Faith opened her mouth to object, Kennedy interjected, "You know it. So shut up and talk with her." With that, Faith saw Willow moving towards them, a silent conversation occurring between her and Kennedy, and Faith was struck at how in sync they were.

"My services are requested?" Willow opened, holding a cup of tea in her hands.

"More like required," Kennedy replied.

"Or mandatory," Faith grumbled, crossing her arms in front of her.

At the look Kennedy shot her, Faith sighed, and gestured for Willow to follow her, giving Kennedy a last glance before turning around and walking off the court, further away from the house, and – more importantly – further from feeling _her_.

"You know the connection won't go away, you'll always feel her," Willow stated softly, as if reading her thoughts, suddenly appearing at her side.

"How did you…never mind. I shoulda known better than to ask you stupid shit like that by now," Faith shook her head, but didn't stop walking.

"I can feel all of you. You are all connected by the power shared by you and Buffy. Don't you remember the unison in which you all could slay as a unit? It wasn't just good fighting skills and planning, it had so much more to do with your connection," Willow stated with the tone of someone trying to broach a topic not often understood, "Which stems far back to Kendra, and then you."

"Come again?" Faith stopped, turning to face Willow in the middle of the expansive backyard.

"Well, the whole two slayers…" Willow began, only to stop suddenly when Faith turned her head sharply towards the house. Willow's brow furrowed for a moment before her expression relaxed and a soft smile graced her features, "You can feel her watching us, can't you?"

Faith nodded, then, distractedly, she stated, without breaking her focused gaze on the house, "Why is this suddenly so strong? It's never been like this, only in the last week or so."

Willow nodded in understanding, "It's the connection finally finding tandem in its simplest form. It has never happened before between the two of you."

Faith finally tore her eyes away from the house, still feeling the pull of the connection, "Huh?"

Willow tilted her head and smiled, "You feel her. In a way beyond just feeling the other original Chosen One. It has everything to do with how you care for her."

Faith was about to object to the statement of feelings, but suddenly deflated, "Is it that obvious to everyone?"

Willow flicked her eyes away, conveying her answer perfectly, to which Faith threw her arms up in the air in frustration.

"Fuck, she probably even knows," then, under her breath, "And is probably laughing about it."

Willow shook her head, "Wrong, on both counts, actually."

Faith cast the redhead a sidelong glance, crossing her arms under her breasts, "Yeah? How do you know?"

"Well, there are benefits to being the best friend, and she would have asked me if she thought you felt something for her beyond friendship."

And with such a simple statement, Willow had conveyed so much more information than Faith had ever expected. The witch's eyes suddenly widened, realizing the revelation that had been mixed within the answer, and Faith's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Care to repeat that?" Faith asked.

Willow reddened in embarrassment and shame at her failure to keep Buffy's feelings more of a secret, "No, not without definite edits."

Faith shrugged her shoulders, as if silently conveying the fact that she didn't need it to be repeated, she had heard clearly the first time around. Looking back towards the mansion, Faith was silent for a few moments, Willow nervously fidgeting next to her.

"Still is a risk."

Willow looked at her sharply, "What is?"

Faith turned her head to look at Willow, "Telling her, feeling for her."

"Loving her?" Willow supplied.

Faith nodded silently, then, "Even if I knew…it would still be a huge risk, for both of us."

"That's part of the whole package, you know that," Willow broke in, only to elaborate upon seeing Faith's questioning look, "Entwining yourself with someone else. In their life, in their heart, it's all a risk. Love and hurt are often like yin and yang; maybe more so with you and Buffy," Willow added this last part as an afterthought, but Faith winced at it nonetheless. "Regardless, you have to find the balance, and part of the balance is willing to take the risk in the first place."

Faith remained silent, taking in everything Willow was saying, yet her body hummed, in tune with the original Chosen One within the mansion.

"Is it worth it?" Faith asked quietly, the question startling Willow. "The risk, I mean."

Willow allowed a small smile to appear on her features, "If you truly want it to be, then it will."

The pair began walking again in silence, and remained in this way for some time.

"I want it, I have for years," Faith suddenly revealed quietly, and Willow turned her head in surprise at the fact that the dark Slayer had even spoken.

"What?"

"Her. Us. Whatever it could be. I've wanted it since I first met her, only…"

"You didn't understand what it meant then," Willow completed the thought, hearing the yearning in Faith's voice.

Faith nodded mutely, hanging her head, _if only I understood then, so much could have been different._

Willow placed a firm hand on Faith's shoulder, causing her to stop walking, "Neither did she."

The statement was so simple, so clearly stated, and yet Faith had trouble comprehending just what it meant. She blinked her eyes, once, twice. Slowly, her mouth dropped opened in sudden surprise.

Willow squeezed Faith's shoulder once before releasing it, "But the two of you are who you are now because of that lack of understanding. It made you ready."

"For what?" Faith asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Each other," Willow replied with a soft smile, the friend and confidant, the one to give advice and indulge in her ever-so slight match-making tendencies.

Faith could only hope that maybe this time, hers and Buffy's constant dance around each other and their connection would finally end; she just had to risk more than she ever had before.


	4. Alone

Author's Note: So sorry for the confusion, but to hopefully clarify, each chapter is separate and distinct from the previous one; meaning that only certain characters will be used, certain topics discussed, and any questions raised in a previous chapter will either be accepted as having been covered behind-the-scenes (meaning the reader doesn't see it), or remarked upon in a later chapter relevant to it.

For clarity purposes, I will integrate the questions you've had regarding Xander's interrupted statement in this chapter. As for Faith's apparently quick comprehension and divulging of the fact that she loves Buffy, it's been quite some time, and she's had mostly that to think about while away.

Also, there's a lot of exposition in this chapter, which I didn't really intend for this story, but I felt that this chapter kind of needed it.

**Suggested Music:  
"Maybe if You're Lonely" by The Bright Light Motion  
"Start the Machine" by Angels and Airwaves  


* * *

**

Faith had wandered her way around every inch of the new "Slayer Central" as Andrew affectionately called the mansion and its surrounding grounds; every inch that is, except the room behind the door she was just about to poke her head into.

The door was ajar, and Faith assured herself that this must be good sign – she was not being a lame-ass, gooey, love-struck girl. The door was open, ergo, people are welcome to come in if they so wish, even just to hang out – or, yunno, grow a pair and have a "serious" discussion, whatever that might be.

Glancing over her shoulder, Faith saw that the top floor hallway was deserted; no one was there to witness the sight of her being nervous – that would ruin the rep she had crafted so well. She had yet to have a truly serious conversation with the other Chosen One since coming back. Sure, they had sat down over the past couple of months and talked long into the night – both with and without alcohol – about everything and anything; except for the topic of relationships, and not just sexual ones. It was a taboo subject for them – a new development since her most recent departure from the Scoobies.

Sighing, Faith ran a hand through her hair, shaking it out and squaring her shoulders before sliding in through the small gap between the door and the frame. A creak to her right drew her attention, and Faith quietly pressed the bedroom door shut before glancing over, seeing Buffy up on a sliding ladder that was attached to the floor-to-ceiling bookcase that spanned an entire wall. Now, Faith may not read that often, but even she was a bit jealous of the personal library. Buffy was leaning slightly sideways on the ladder, using it for more of a seat than a ladder as she sifted through the pages of the book she was holding. Her hair was pulled up into a claw clip, keeping it away from her face, which was angled down, her attention solely on finding whatever she was looking for.

Faith watched as Buffy sighed and shut the book before turning on the ladder and placing it back on the shelf, her fingers dancing along the spines of the books nearby as she read the titles before pausing and pulling out another book.

"Never woulda took you for a bookworm, B," Faith commented, jostling the blonde at the sudden intrusion of sound in her otherwise quiet room.

"God Faith, you startled me!" Buffy exclaimed, a hand quickly gripping the ladder to keep herself stable as she moved too quickly to look towards the sound of Faith's voice.

Faith grinned, but didn't respond, and moved further into the room, her eyes on the blonde, who remained on the ladder, leaning back into it in order to face her.

A few moments passed, and Faith realized that Buffy was both waiting for her to say something, and not coming down, which bothered her for some reason, but she couldn't think of why.

"Whatcha looking for? I always took you for a light reading sorta girl," Faith asked, knowing the question felt forced and a bit awkward, but refusing to acknowledge it.

Buffy shrugged, and looked at the book that she still held in one hand before answering quietly, her head angled down so that her gaze didn't meet Faith's, "I had a lot of free time to read."

"Had, or made?" Faith challenged, forcing herself to keep her face straight, and not smirk victoriously when Buffy's head whipped up at the on-the-spot comment.

"What does it matter to you what I did with my time after you left?" The hurt was there, just beneath the surface, and Faith flinched at the anger directed towards herself.

Shrugging, Faith moved over towards the window sill, and leaned against it, shoving her hands into her pockets, before stating simply, "It just matters."

"Why?"

The incredulous question emitted from Buffy's lips was quietly asked, as if Buffy had no idea why Faith would care – beyond friendship that is – about her and her lifestyle.

Faith shrugged again, and, slowly lifting her head to meet Buffy's curious gaze, she stated, "'Cuz I know a thing or two 'bout being alone – both wanting to be, and having to be."

"Your missions?" Faith nodded at the question, she had given a brief synopsis of her time away from the Scoobies, just enough to fill in the major gaps – and left enough out to leave a slew of questions in her wake.

"Yeah. I was alone for most of 'em. Some of 'em I had help, but only indirectly. Just me and my thoughts to keep me company – not a really great combo. So I learned other languages, read the histories of the places I went to, learning about the different cultures. Did what I could to do what I had to do, but also so I wouldn't feel so…"

"Alone." Buffy completed for her, descending the steps of the ladder slowly and placing the book on the nearby table. "I get it."

"Yeah?" Faith's eyes lifted to meet the other Slayer's, "How's that, considerin' you're surrounded by people 24/7?"

Buffy flicked her eyes away from Faith's unrelenting gaze, "I pulled in on myself a lot after you left." Faith nodded, she had heard as much from Xander when she first came to the mansion – well, she had squeezed it out of him via shots of whiskey after Buffy had given her the third degree as a housewarming present. "I love my friends, my family; but they don't get it sometimes. Not even the Slayers. They don't know what it's like to be…"

"Alone?" Faith ventured, gaining a flicker of a smile from Buffy. A hollow smile, conveying that Faith was right – but not at the same time.

"Chosen." Faith nodded, beginning to grasp where Buffy was coming from. She had lived so differently from Faith as a Slayer. _So different._

"I mean, yeah, you were chosen, but you had heard of me. Knew that you weren't alone in the fight against the darkness. Even from afar. Even from across the world." Buffy's last sentence was quieter, softer even, and Faith watched as Buffy wrapped her arms around herself and turned from her to look back at the bookcase lining the wall.

"You were the last true Chosen One," Faith stated, _you created the hiccup in the Slayer line_. "Why does that make you so different from me?" Faith knew better than to include the Slayer Army; they did not factor into this conversation, _they never would_.

"Because I thought that I would always be alone in the end. Until I met you."

Faith swallowed, blinked, then felt a neuron fire, a memory, "What about Kendra?"

Buffy waved a hand as she glanced over her shoulder, dismissing the question, "She thought she was the only Slayer when we first met. Even after that, she only came to help when necessary, and continued her fight from Jamaica," Buffy explained, "You knew. Before you were a Slayer, or directly after, it doesn't matter, but you did know."

Faith bit her lip, and closed her eyes in understanding.

"And you came to me."

Faith nodded, beginning to take a few hesitant steps towards her, "I needed help. I needed to not feel as if I were all alone, and I knew where you were," Faith broke the steady gaze that Buffy was holding, and glanced at the floor, hooking her thumbs into the front pockets of her jeans, "I wanted to find the only other girl in the world who understood this new life that was handed to me. I was wild," Faith added, shaking her head ruefully, "but I figured that if I could find ya, that maybe you would get me. That you could help."

"Faith…" Buffy began, turning her body fully towards the dark Slayer, who merely waved a hand to silence her.

"I was an untamed animal, crashing into your world, which was already fucked up and difficult, forcing you to admit you understood the animal." Faith smiled softly, then, glancing up into Buffy's eyes, unblinking, "I'm sorry, B."

The apology had never been said before, and Faith knew Buffy understood it to be all-encompassing. From when they first met, to this moment. Buffy shook her head and moved to stand directly in front of Faith.

"You don't need to apologize, Faith. We've both moved far beyond what we did as teenagers," Buffy allowed her lips to twitch into a brief smile.

"I didn't just mean then," Faith commented, knowing that while the Scoobies may have forgiven her for her sins in Sunnydale, she would be carrying murder on her shoulders for the rest of her life – and that she would not forgive herself for.

Buffy dropped her gaze, "It hurt me a lot when you left. I thought we were really getting somewhere. I felt that I had scared you away."

Faith licked her lips nervously, afraid to admit the chain of realizations that had scared her away.

"_And even if you tell me that you hate me, I'll still be here the next day, 'cause at least I know you feel something."_ Faith shut her eyes briefly, reliving the moment of her ceasing her struggle in Buffy's embrace, wrapping her arms around the older Slayer, feeling the battle of emotions within herself – the simple statement conveying what at the time Faith had figured was Buffy thinking she was better than Faith, forgiving and forgetting with ease, while the dark Slayer struggled so hard to come to terms with her personal demons.

Faith had lashed out cruelly at the time, once again hurting the other Chosen One. Buffy, in her own way, had shown Faith that she was scarred, broken; a survivor of the difficult life she had been living, not unlike Faith herself. The realization frightened her so much, she fled.

She wasn't used to having someone who understood what it was to be different, alone, solitary. Angel knew, but on a very different level. Killing. Redemption. Giles understood that too. But Faith knew that the only person who could truly understand her, and _what _being chosen to be the "one girl" was, was Buffy; and she had never dreamed that Buffy could relate to her on any level beyond the "hot chicks with superpowers" thing. She didn't think Buffy would understand the darkness, the isolation, the struggle.

So, after over a year on her own, Faith finally understood that Buffy had cared for her, strongly. And she had fucked it up, _like always_. Buffy had played it very close to her chest, _and why shouldn't she?_ Faith had thought at the time, _it's not like I'm particularly known for my long-term relationships_. But she had left, and Faith held very little hope for ever being given a second, _or third, rather_, chance.

Opening her eyes, Faith saw concern in Buffy's hazel eyes, her brow furrowed, her bottom lip separated from the top just a fraction, and Faith licked her lips again. _Might as well dive right in, see what happens._

"You think we can move beyond where I left us?" Faith asked gently, hoping that Buffy understood that she finally got it. It just took her a long time to get it.

She had fallen for Buffy way back in the beginning of their long and troubled history, but had come to the conclusion after killing Finch, that Buffy would never feel the same way, and so things went south. Quickly.

Years later, after learning about Buffy sleeping with Satsu, and the eventual friendship that she and Buffy slowly – finally – cultivated in the wake of fighting the war against the Prophecy of Prophesies (as Xander liked to call the shitfest that occurred after the unveiling of Angel as Twilight), Faith decided that she didn't want to let her personal feelings get in the way of their friendship. It was enough to know that she had a friend who understood what it was to be alone, to be Chosen. She had never factored in that Buffy might want her back.

"I'd like us to be friends again, Faith," Buffy replied guardedly. _Gotcha_, Faith allowed her lips to curl up slightly for a moment, before becoming serious again.

"That's not what I meant," Faith replied softly.

Buffy dropped her gaze at that, quietly replying, "I know." Then, "I do. I missed you."

Faith paused a moment, her normal cockiness failing her, but she could see in Buffy's eyes that she needed to make the next move. Faith had to prove herself.

Ducking her head, Faith lifted her hand to cup Buffy's jaw, and leaned down, brushing her lips across the blonde's mouth. A soft sigh escaped from Buffy and Faith slid her hand back into Buffy's hair, grasping her and pulling her against her body. Uncertainty gone, Faith deepened the kiss, her tongue trailing briefly along Buffy's lower lip, tasting it, relishing in the feel of it, before feeling Buffy's tongue tentatively touch hers. Faith growled softly, sucking Buffy's tongue into her mouth, dragging her teeth along it before releasing Buffy from the kiss.

Faith licked her lips again, opening her eyes to see Buffy's mouth open, breathing a bit more heavily than she had been moments ago.

"Well," Buffy began, her dilated eyes locking on Faith's, "That was definitely worth the wait."

Faith grinned, her cockiness coming back to her in waves, "Baby, you don't even know what you've been waiting for."

Buffy's eyes twinkled playfully as she pulled Faith down for another kiss, whispering across her lips, "You're gonna show me."

Sealing Faith's mouth to hers, Buffy tangled her hands in the raven locks, _With relish._


End file.
